Episode 14 – Show Them Who You Are

Welcome to the Mentor 4 Moms Podcast!

On this episode:

These are MY thoughts as a black mom after seeing Black Panther twice on opening weekend.

If you want to find more perspectives on this conversation, check out the hashtag #whatblackpanthermeanstome

This film is the first time my hubby and I have bought tickets to an opening night of a film. We went to an IMAX theater across the street from a large university campus. The fact that we showed up with our tickets 30 mins before showtime thinking that we were early, showed just how unprepared we were for the night ahead.

Throughout the film there was excitement building as each scene revealed such earth, power, intelligence, and excellence.

So let’s get started. No particular order, definitely not in order of importance. This is just a girlfriend chat of my highlight moments. I’ll probably even miss some because there are just SO many.

The opening line. “Baba, tell me a story.” I sat straight up in my seat. Though my kids are African American, they each have African names with strong meanings and they call my husband Baba which is Swahili for father.

Many points that stood out to me:

Black women in a film that are not angry, enslaved, sex objects, or any of the other stereotypical roles we are presented in most films.
We didn’t have the token 1 or 2 black actors in this film, we were all the way through. This gives the opportunity to expand the idea of our complexity as a community. No one character was marked to represent all of us.
I have children that were born during the Obama administration. As they see this superhero and all that this represents it is part of the norm of their experience.
Along with that my girls have a several princesses and a queen that look like them – and they show the complexity of femininity: they are brave, smart, funny, gorgeous, playful, creative, humble, bold, fierce, all of that and more.
Africa depicted as the rich and powerful contributor to this planet that it WAS and IS. My trip to Rwanda last summer was my first visit to the continent but hopefully not my last
The understanding that the strength in the Wakandan community was in large part due to the women. They were involved in every level and every facet of their thriving culture.
It provides an opportunity for discussion on relationships, purpose, care for the community, sharing of resources, empowering one another, taking a stand, making decisions out of a broken heart vs a healed one, and SO much more.
The CIA agent didn’t come in and ‘fix’ things for them as if he had all the answers. Nope, not this time!
The reaction is showing the desire for films that relate to us in the black community – we don’t die in the first few moments of the film, or have to be someone’s side kick or brunt of the jokes.
This is a movie to celebrate even if you are not black.

How does all of this relate to being an intentional mom?

Ensure that your kids, especially if they are not black, are being exposed to heroes of various cultures and backgrounds, on purpose. Not just ones that look like them. It matters.
When you go to see this film, you can see the Intentional Mom framework that I have taught on this podcast come to life: There was a clear purpose and culture with clear values.
They were intentional – which means they have the courage + the confidence to live true to their core values. Wakanda had a vision, core values, and the people lived out those core values in the 5 key priority areas of their lives.

They cared for people both within their community and surrounding
In their homes, seen in the larger sense of community in the film, not so much their individual homes.
Their activities: their pursuit of advances, honoring tradition, valuing elders, etc.
Their overwhelming and threatening circumstances, even when threatened they stuck to their values. In fact, I would say our reactions are best shown when we are threatened or under attack.
Self care. Remember our working definition of self care here is: loving and serving ourselves in the same way that we love and serve others. The UN scene at the end, this culture steps up to the world stage to extend support, but their gesture is an overflow of their care for themselves at home. They did not give to their own hurt, they were open to sharing AND caring for their own needs at home, not instead of meeting their own needs at home.

What you and I discuss on this podcast applies universally and I hope that you can begin to see the framework at play in books you read, shows/movies you watch, your own family life, and in the lives of your friends and family.

For more on the framework, check out the first few episodes of this podcast where I break each piece down. Also Episode 2, when we talked about the 12 things intentional parents do differently – I can see how those were shown in the film as well.

I think you can tell that I really enjoyed this film! And I repeat- I’m not a Marvel Comic fan, I don’t know the connections to other films or plots, etc. I simply wanted to celebrate a good movie and share why I loved it SO much.

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