Episode 31 – The Real Purpose of Getting Organized

Welcome to the Mentor 4 Moms Podcast!

On this episode:

Between Marie Kondo and Hoarders, my family gets very concerned. When I watch these shows I start to look at my house differently. I start to think, “Where do we need to clean?” “What do we need to declutter, get rid of, reorganize?” And the family is like, “Ah man, I knew we should have taken the remote.”

Here is the important conversation we should have along with watching any series like this. What is the real purpose behind the organizing? Anytime we want to declutter, rearrange, or do something different with our home, our space, or our time, we want to ask ourselves, “What is our real purpose?”

So far this year we have defined and chosen our word of the year (WOY), made our vision board, identified goals, and set up our calendar. Now we’re going to move on to setting up our physical spaces in support of all we’ve been working towards so far.

It’s not just watching a show and getting some tips and, boom, we’re off running. We could do that. But if we’re not willing to slow down and get clear about what our purpose is around it, it becomes just another thing to do without lasting results. There is a way I think about organizing now that could be helpful.

I attach organizing and decluttering to my word of the year (WOY). Last year my word was ‘Forward.’ I looked for progress, steps, and motion that showed development and change. It was about me being willing to lean into that experience. For example, when it came to organizing my closet, I considered how I could move this closet forward in support of the woman I am right now and the woman I am becoming. I looked at each piece of clothing and asked if it was to go forward with me or was it done. Does it no longer fit, in good condition, do I even wear it anymore?

This year I’m doing the same with my bedroom in connection with my WOY, ‘Rise.’ My desire was to up-level our experience here in this room. I had this vision of trying to create some of the spaces I’d experienced when we had stayed at Air BnB places – a lack of clutter and lots of open space. I asked myself, “What aspects of that can I recreate in my space?” How can I recreate this sense of plenty of space and openness and freedom here? I wanted a space of rest and relaxation and comfort.

I feel like clutter is talking to me. It feels like this low-level hum of a room full of people. The more clutter there is around me it feels like the volume of this hum is turned up, louder and louder. When I’m decluttering it’s me trying to turn the noise down.

If you’re watching the Marie Kondo series, or following Fly Lady, or some other system, it’s about which system serves you. Which system is helping you to move forward in the direction you need to go. Which one will help you get there?

Underneath all of that, here are some tools and principles we put into place as intentional moms that will help us, 1) choose which system is best for us, and 2) get the results we really want – not just doing things we think we should do. Instead, we are intentionally choosing them, investing our time and attention into them, and what we’re really doing is setting ourselves up to maximize the efficiency of our energy and time.

As I am thinking through how specific changes related to the overall vision and goals I have set for the year, I can communicate that to my family and this becomes a conversation we’re having that’s in support of the direction we need to go together. Now it’s not so random about socks or shoes or whatnot, but about communicating how to best set up our space to support the life we want to live.

This ties into that Intentional Mom Framework where we’re looking at those five key priority areas and we’re saying how can we use and infuse our WOY into each of those areas. Our organizing is simply premeditated decisions, making those decisions about how we want this space to look and function. Then from there our chores and our routines are in support of keeping that moving in the way we’ve already defined.

Clutter is delayed decisions. I don’t know what to do with this so I’ll put it over here. Think of the infamous junk drawer: leftover batteries, a random pencil, napkins from Chick Fil A, a rubber band . . . Over time the drawer is no longer functional. Revisit the space and ask, “how can we uplevel this drawer?” Organizing is another act of self-care. It’s really a way we can calm that committee in our heads – the committee that tells you all the ways you’re failing, missing the mark, inadequate – that critical voice in your head. Making these decisions about our space and how we want to operate in our space can silence the committee.The goal isn’t about making our spaces look Pinterest worthy. It’s about what makes us feel at home. If we feel most at home when the bed is not made, can we let that be OK? Maybe we feel more at home when we have little kid and baby things around that look like our family are enjoying the space we’ve worked so hard to earn to live here. Can we let that be OK? Maybe the counter has some dishes on it because we had a family meal here. When we look at that space we smile because it represents family time and the delight and the conversation and connection that was happening there. Can we let that be OK?I want to make the changes that are in line with the WOY I’ve chosen, or in line with the core values my family has outlined. Those are the reasons for us to rise up and step into making any changes or adjustments.

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