Episode 49 – Imposter Syndrome is Real for Moms, Too

Welcome to the Mentor 4 Moms Podcast!

On this episode:

This is for the mom who feels like she missed the boat, who’s self-critical, and feels like a fake. This is for the mom who places an immense amount of pressure on herself. Do you feel like you’re not good enough? Do you downplay what you do well and call it ‘no big deal?’ Do you think anyone can do what you do, that you’re nothing special? How about the perfectionist mom or the mom who doesn’t take compliments well?

Impostor Syndrome is that feeling that you’re inadequate in spite of clearly doing well. It’s winning and feeling like there must be some mistake. Impostor syndrome is commonly found in high achieving individuals and shows up more in women than men. It’s rooted in this fear that one day people will find you out and see behind the curtain. The phrase was coined by Dr. Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes.

Dr. Clance has an Impostor Syndrome Quiz that you can take. While taking the test, remember that we are complex individuals. Think of one of the five areas we manage as moms when taking the test. Like: caring for children, managing the needs of your home, the family calendar, outside commitments, etc. Pick one of these areas to focus on when you answer the questions on the quiz so you will get more benefit from the results.

When you’re trying to fix yourself, you miss the fact that you’re not broken. You are a beautiful work in progress. Self-doubt says it’s impossible. But a shift in mindset makes the impossible possible. Comparison is a huge obstacle that is blocking your vision and keeping you from seeing the greatness God has placed in you. It blocks your creativity and confidence. Stop holding yourself back.

There are steps you can take to overcome self-doubt:

Step 1: Expose the lie. “Anybody could do that.” or “I don’t belong here.” What is that common phrase you say when you’re having that feeling. Shine the light of truth on it.

Step 2: Set stretch goals – a goal that is doable but is going to require you to stretch and be all in.

Step 3: Celebrate your wins along the way. Acknowledge your progress. Recognize your progress along the way to your goal.

Step 4: Stop apologizing. Don’t hide your skills behind strength-sapping distractions like apologizing. There’s enough room for you. You aren’t in the way or blocking some else’s blessing. You are standing in your greatness. When you do that, you encourage others to do the same.

Step 5: Stand and shine. When you stand up and shine, you WILL be noticed, but that’s okay. A woman walking in her purpose is one of the most attractive things in the world. Learning to stand in that spotlight is work.

Step 6: Practice self-acceptance. Even at your best, there are quirks and weird things about you. Me, too. Accept yourself the way you are and how you do things.

Step 7: Practice daily gratitude. Take time every day to pause and consider what you are grateful for. There is always something we can be grateful for. And that gratitude is a great combatant to the self-doubt, worry, and anxious feelings that come up.

I hope this conversation today has been helpful. I hope that you have found some practical things to implement. You may want to come back and listen again after you take the Impostor Syndrome Quiz.

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