Episode 56 – In My Feelings

Welcome to the Mentor 4 Moms Podcast!

On this episode:

I am back from Geneva. Can I just tell you what incredibly beautiful cities – in Switzerland and France – just beautiful. It’s pretty incredible to me how close they are. From the village in Switzerland where I was staying, I could just go outside, up a mountain, and look across to France.

Looking at the Alps I was just in awe of the size of the mountains. Our hills here in the Texas hill country are nothing compared to a mountain – a grand mountain, snow capped peaks and all. I just loved being there to see all the wonderful fall colors.

Why was I even there? I went to Geneva for a writing intensive. It was a training on how to be a better writer. Writing is a huge insecurity for me. I wanted to get better because I sense that the Lord is wanting me to take what I teach and put it into writing. I felt I needed more than just a little writing class.

The writing intensive was being taught by Mary DeMuth. She taught how to get what’s in your head and heart out on the paper. That is what I needed. I needed the whole package – to be quiet and still, to pray and seek God for His help, and some practical training. She had the intensive one week and an advanced intensive the second week. So that was two weeks for me. I said yes to both.

As much as writing was an insecurity for me, I didn’t feel like I should be a speaker. I was very concerned about saying yes to this and causing my own family needs to not be met. I was ready to say, “No.” A group of my friends called me out on my fears and hesitations. They encouraged me to stop running from what God was calling me to do. They prayed with me and he has shown me clearly that this is the work He has for me.

I don’t have this five-year plan sketched out of all these things I’m going to do. I don’t have a team doing these things. It’s me and some friends who help me. Beyond that there is not a huge group of people. It’s God and my humble “yes.” That is how I ended up in Geneva.

I asked God to show me what my next step should be. Then I met Mary DeMuth at a speaking event. I learned about her writing intensive. I first learned about it last year right before the intensive. I could not attend last year, but I said “yes” this year and I’m so glad I did. My main goal was to have a mighty encounter with God.

Boy did he do that. It was a beautiful place, but it was a tiny little village. There was not a lot of things to go see and do. It was just what I needed. I had time to be quiet and to learn in the daily sessions. I got to meet people who had also come in from all over the world. I learned that my insecurity and sense of smallness around my writing was all around the room.

I thought it was just me. There are probably some places in your own life and heart where you feel small, insignificant, and unworthy. Yet, you are not the only one feeling that way. The enemy of our soul wants us to think that it’s just us. In our own heads we can be so mean to ourselves. Yet, I found that was happening all over the room.

We committed to linking arms with one another and encouraging one another to move forward. There is spiritual warfare here. There is a battle going on for our obedience. The enemy wants to snatch away our “yes” and turn it into a “no.” We don’t want that to happen, so let’s keep going.

We would have the practical lesson on what to do. Then we would pray together and encourage one another and sit around the table with our laptops and write. There was a level of accountability in working together.

I went over there with a whole lot of insecurities, fears, worries, and doubts. I came back with this fire in my belly that, yes, I am a writer. I would not have said that with such conviction before. Now, I am constantly looking for ways to get better and to grow as a writer. I don’t question or doubt that I’m a writer any more.

I pray that for you – wherever you have that space to feel that’s not you – that you are able to make that shift, as well. I pray that God will show how He sees you instead of you defining all the ways you don’t measure up. Wherever you are feeling small and insignificant that you can begin to shift and sense the real way in which God loves you and how He sees you.

Listen above for so much more about my time in Geneva.

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